


Playing House

by Duck_Life



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Spoilers for The Magnus Archives Season 5, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-09
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:29:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26906647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Duck_Life/pseuds/Duck_Life
Summary: Takes place shortly after the season 5 trailer. Martin tries to talk to Jon.
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Comments: 5
Kudos: 84





	Playing House

“So which is it?” Martin says quietly. They’re sitting together in the bed, listening while something worse than wind howls outside. 

“Mm?”

“Well, you said we can’t… we can’t trust comfort,” Martin says. “So which is it? Do I not… bring you any comfort? Or do you not trust me?” 

“I trust you,” Jon says immediately. “I never want you to doubt that, alright? I trust you, Martin. One hundred percent. Always.” 

“But that doesn’t bring you any comfort.” 

Jon sighs. “No, it doesn’t,” he admits. “I trust you— I love you— and that’s what makes me so terrified of losing you. Whether it’s losing you to the Lonely, or to  _ me _ , or… or to the million things out there trying to hurt us.”

“Well, if it helps, it is only fourteen things,” Martin points out. Jon chokes out a laugh. “See? I can still do comfort.” 

“You shouldn’t.” Jon shifts in the bed, curling against Martin’s side. “I don’t deserve it— comfort. I don’t deserve to be comfortable, not after what I… I broke the world, Martin.”

“Mmhm. Right,” Martin says. “Your master plan. You know, I still remember the first day we met. I said to myself, ‘That man’s going to bring about the end of the world. Purposefully, knowingly. Certainly not as the final piece in some dusty old man’s 200-year-long game.’” 

“ _ Martin _ .”

“I know,” Martin says, reaching over gently to smooth a hand over Jon’s crossed arms, his tensed shoulders. “It… it  _ sucks _ realizing you’ve been played. A-and it doesn’t mean that  _ none  _ of your actions were your own… joining the Institute, stopping the Unknowing… saving me from the Lonely. I just… I really hope you understand that Eli—  _ Magnus _ — used you. Set you up like a domino and tipped you over, and that’s why the world is broken.”

“I can’t just ignore my part in all this.”

“Okay, fine,” Martin huffs. “Taking people’s statements against their will? Dick move. Accusing me and Tim of being murderers because you’re bad at trusting people? Not great. But ending the world wasn’t  _ actually _ your fault.” 

“I could have died,” Jon says. “I could have… could have blinded myself…”

“Choosing to live is  _ not _ something to feel guilty over.”

“People are  _ suffering _ , Martin.”

“I know. And we’re included in that,” Martin reminds him. “It’s not like we’re  _ safe _ here. You think I don’t know that? We’re isolated in a world gone wrong. You’re… traumatized and wracked with guilt, I’m… I’m so…  _ lonely _ ,  _ still _ … we’re  _ not _ getting off easy like you seem to think we are.” 

“Martin—”

“Just. Maybe, maybe I really  _ can’t _ bring you any comfort,” Martin says. “But I’m  _ not _ giving you the blame you seem to be craving.” 

Jon nods, and then he slips into quiet. Martin can tell he’s thinking about something, can see the way his jaw tenses and relaxes as he turns his thoughts over and over in his head. He tugs the blankets around his waist and waits to hear what Jon has to say. 

He’s not expecting what he hears. 

"Why did you stay?"

"Sorry?"

"When I… at the start of all this," Jon says. He's sitting up too straight, back against the headboard, and he isn't looking at Martin. "The world went wrong and you came back to find me laughing like a maniac. I was… I was  _ ecstatic _ . I was  _ gone _ . Why did you stay for… that?"

"You mean why did I stay with  _ you _ ," Martin says, always so insistent that Jon is a person and not a thing. "Jon, I… I could be all romantic and tell you I stayed because I just love you so damn much, but you know… Where else was I going to go? I know  _ now _ that you're still… you… but, yeah, when you pointed to those pupils in the sky, all excited like you were watching a bloody fireworks show… i-it scared me. And I didn't know… but, the thing was, you were all I had. This place was all I had."

“I’m sorry,” Jon says. “For… I’m just sorry.”

Martin wants to say,  _ You don’t have to be _ , but he doesn’t think Jon’s ready to hear it. So he says, “It’s okay,” and he tucks Jon’s head down to rest against his shoulder. And maybe he can’t actually bring the man he loves any comfort, but at least he can pretend. They can sit in this cabin at the end of the world and play pretend until either of them gets any better ideas. 


End file.
